It was Valentine’s day, or didn’t you notice? If you didn’t, you’ll probably need this guide (A little late, perhaps, but it was published in Metro yesterday and I'm not allowed to post it here 'til the next day)
Fig 1: Pick your target. Check for height compatibility. If your target is significantly taller or shorter than you, it may help to carry either of these two accessories (a or b).
Fig 2: Estimate lip size: thin lips will be more difficult to land on, and a greater degree of accuracy will be required. Or botox.
Fig 3: A 2003 study estimated that 2/3 of people turn their heads to the right when kissing. Check your direction and be ready to move quickly if it does not correspond with that of your target. Calibrate nose shape and size. If this is going to be a significant problem, consider surgery.
Fig 4: Practice lunge movement - fencing classes can be helpful here - until you can do it with your eyes closed (nb: it is impossible to kiss someone with your eyes open which probably something to do with Fig 3).
Fig 5: Choose the moment for your first kiss carefully. Not during or the final of Strictly Come Dancing or an important meeting. Also consider your environment. Yes to the Trevi Fountain; no to M&S knitwear department.
Fig 6: Last-minute preparation. Exfoliate lips by rubbing with a dry toothbrush; apply lip balm; go!
I turn to the left! Is this the root of all my problems?
(LOVE fig A - would like to see this in action)
Posted by: Claire * lolaisbeauty | February 15, 2012 at 11:45 AM
Best not to turn at all, I say. Go straight for the target, unless this is a French-style Mwah! Mwah!
Posted by: Stu Harris | February 19, 2012 at 05:49 PM