Life used to begin at 40 but if 40 is the new 20 do you have to wait an extra 20 years before claiming the youthful pleasures now enjoyed by the old? And how do you know when you're old nowadays? This guide may help.
(first published in Metro, UK)
Fig 1: check your person for the first signs of ageing: wrinkles, reading specs, The Radio Times.
Fig 2: Counter-symbols. Once thought of as old, if you own any of these, you are actually young: Roberts radio, wellies, tweed jacket, pipe, slippers. Extra youth points for leather elbow patches. Remember, 20 is the new 40.
Fig 3: Warning: if you own any of these you might think you're young but in fact you're old: leather jacket, motorbike*, new technology**. 60 is the new 30.
Fig 4: The final test: do policemen look younger? How about that David Cameron?
Fig 5a: You're old. Grow old gracefully. Stop combing over. Get an lay-z-boy. 35 is the new 70.
Fig 5b: You're old. Decide to do something about it. You can start by not shouting at the telly. 50 is the new 50 (sorry).
*The current average age for UK bikers is 47 (this is some kind of govt statistic but I can't track down the source so it will have to remain an unreliable assertion).
** esp. Kindle
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