Five-Minute Academy - How to Grow a Beard

This was published by Metro last week: if you're in any major city in the UK, you'll find a fresh Five Minute Academy in your Metro today.

Fig 1: Check your gender. If you are female, you may find growing a beard more difficult.

Fig 2: To avoid humorous comments during growth, consider beginning to grow a beard on holiday. If you have to stay at work, request a cubicle.

Fig 3: Stop shaving. Wait for hair to grow (approx six weeks for a decent growth). Stick with it. Beards may appear patchy at first.

Fig 4 (a & b): Colour. Sad but true, you may find that your beard growth is a different colour to your hair. Two common problems are illustrated here.

Fig 5: Decide where your beard begins and ends. If you are particularly hairy, follow the line where chin meets neck to prevent the illusion of an endless beard. Perhaps invest in some sort of grooming tool.

Fig 6: Now you have your beard, consider styling options. Try to tread the narrow line between the over-groomed and the shaggy. Shampoo regularly. Blow-drying is not usually considered necessary. With care, your beard can last you a lifetime. 

Comments

[Amy]

Very droll. Figure 6 elicited a snort-laugh. Sheesh.

[badaude]

The 'public snort' is what I strive for...